Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Self Reflection

 The way i communicate with someone who i don't want the relationship to go past experimenting is i don't open up. I tell the person my name, what my major is, just small talk.  If i want  it to become a more  intensifying relationship i usually start talking about my goals and more of my life history. Just to make sure that we're both on the same page. Im not going to freak the person out and start talking about every little thing that has happen in my life. I would also spend more time with the person, usually outside of how we met.  I usually can tell when the relationship has moved way beyond intensitying. The one way i can tell its 'serious" is when i have introduced him to my parents. When we start taking mini road trips or when the things we do start becoming one.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Self Reflection

                  I have never really made my self look better on the internet by using facebook or myspace or any of those type of internet sites. I never really got into the whole facebook or chatting sites. All my friends were in constant drama as soon as they had one, so i thought the best thing was to not make one so i wouldn't be involved.
                 One time that i do recall making  my self look better was when i was doing an online resume and i stretched the truth a little so they had something to rememeber me by. My dad is the one who looks over resumes at his job and he always tells me the resumes that are more interesting or has something special about them are the ones they call in for an interview. I don't think there really is anything wrong about expanding the truth as long as you don't get carried away with it. A consequence people could have with this is saying your extremely better at a certian task then what you really are. You don't want the person to think our an expert when really you only know the basics.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Display rules

When i was little my parents raised me in a very different way. Not saying it was bad but it did have an impact on me today. When they were really upset or mad at me they would give me the silent treatment, and i HATED IT! Sometimes they would be very silent and not say much and that would usually throw a lot of people off. When my parents get sad or extremely disappointed they start to yell. It’s a little scary or intimidating actually, but i think they do it so we won’t do that whatever we did, again. It gets confusing on how to react to their reaction.
            Growing up in that sort of environment made me become stronger woman. But in different aspects it hurt my relationships in a daily environment. Most normal people don't yell when there sad they break down and cry or just keep to themselves. So some people accuse me of being a bitch because i yell a lot because i care too much about everyone! My boyfriend and close friends understand that’s how I was raised and that I am trying to change my way of dealing with my emotions but it will take a while it’s not something I can do overnight. Sometimes I get in additional arguments because of my yelling. I yell because I care but people take it like I’m mad or pissed off about that certain subject when I know I’m just hurt. So having certain rules growing up has some beneficial qualities about it but also some huge downfalls as well.  

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

People-Oriented listener

        I'm the type of person who likes listening to other people. I care about what they say no matter if i just meant them or known the person for 15 years.  I tune everything and everyone out when im having a deep conversation with someone. I also make it very noticable that i am listening usually by nodding my head or paraphrasing what they said so they know i was listening to everything. I believe that there are more pros on being this type of listener then cons. Such as, you become emotionally invested in the person you are talking to. Also, you have more of a understanding on how there feeling and can tell by the persons non verbals if there being honest.The con that sticks out the most to me is that when becoming emotionally involved with the persons problem, that it starts to overwhelm you.
         I think people with other type of listening styles can help people engage in more of a detailed conversation or it can stir up some mad hard drama. Every style is good for a certain person. But mixing all the styles into one conversation will make it become very tense. Time-oriented might make the conversation feel rushed, as the action might jump on some people toes for interrupting and fininshing someones sentence or story. As for content people they listen for the more technical information and might ask to many questions, and the people-oriented might take all this and become emotionally involved with the drama and all the problems going on. So putting any of these styles together will cause some type of drama.
        Since i read this i have realized everytime i start to engage myself in a conversation. Wether it be to my boyfriend or parents. Yesterday, i was talking to my mom and she was talking to me about some things that were going on at her work. I got emotionally involved with the sitauton that it made me made just thinking about it. Ya, it was good that i took what she had said seriously but i have to draw that line with other peoples problemsnot becoming my problem just becasue i notice that something is wrong with them.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Invading someone space is not as easy as it may seem

So, i decided to to invade someone space for my experiment. I thought it was going to be a piece of cake, but boy was i wrong! So, i decided to do it at the library. I went thier to do some studying and i saw a middle age women sitting at a table, so i thought that would be the perfect oppertunity. I finally got enough courage in myself to stand up and walk over there. I kind of pulled the chair close to her, sat down, opened my books and just looked at her. Her facial expressions were nothing like i had expected. She looked very puzzled and wierded out. You can tell she was trying to scoot her chair without making it noticable. Everytime she moved so did i. After about Five minutes she got up and moved. The women let out a big sigh before she walked out. I felt good that i invaded someones space but kind of rude.